Pleas(e)

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Is it
pride,
potential,
or purpose
pulling me forward?
That painful ache
in the pocket of my chest,
the press of tears behind my eyes,
the deep, distracted sighs
puncturing even the most mundane moments.

Am I sick in spirits or just lacking the Lord?

Is He calling me to more?
Or am I trying to fast-forward
through the growing pains
and patience He has planned for my good?

O God, humble me,
grant me clarity,
give me what I need
even if it’s the last thing I want.
Plant the seed of surety
so it roots deep in the soil of my soul.

Whether this is meant to be a marathon
or a dead sprint,
let me run it well.
Use this discomfort, dissatisfaction, and unease
as coal in a furnace,
feeding and fanning the flames
of my holistic worship of You.

Clarify my calling,
even if Your means remain a mystery.
Amen.